Are You ‘Caking’, ‘Cushioning’ or ‘Benching’? A Dating Terms Glossary For Singles

Please refresh the page and retry. Why you have a great WhatsApp chat with them, but then they go quiet for a few weeks? Or why it is that when you decide to finally break it off, they send such a nice normal message you start to wonder if you dreamt their disinterest? Instead the bencher strings along the benchee with well-timed WhatsApps and witty texts, or small promises that never materialise into big gestures. T hey do it to keep their options open — they might like the benchee, sure, but not well enough to commit. At most they might meet up once in a while — but never two weeks in a row.

Is He Benching You?

Ah, benching. While some of the other dating problems of might need a bit of explaining, the word “benching” kind of speaks for itself. In case it’s not clear to you though, I can break it down most easily by saying it’s when you keep someone on your dating roster to keep the bench warm in case your starting lineup i. In other words, it’s having someone in your life who you’re not completely disinterested in but also not giving the MVP title to.

If your MVP no longer wants to play, you can still call up the guy or girl on the bench to keep the game alive.

It was from a guy she met online and they’ve met for drinks once. She thought he was kind of cute and she wouldn’t mind going on another date with him. But he.

Most often, the prospect of a relationship with a guy is clear after the first or the second date. If there is the third date, it is almost a romance then, and during the fourth one, one can safely strive for more. However, there are situations when the relations get stuck in some phase. He does not seem to try to fool you, but he is not in a hurry and seems to be thinking about retreat.

Ghosting is a virtual option of taking French leave when a person quits the game without explaining the reasons and disappears from sight, sometimes even forever. Breadcrumbing means sending playful messages of no serious content to attract any careless person of the opposite sex, who is ready to accept the scattered crumbs of attention or inexpressive flirtation without enthusiasm solely for the purpose of feeding the interest and staying in touch.

This is a sports metaphor indicating that a potential partner is not a priority because another person has better options. Some benchers are actually narcissists. They have no intention of building a relationship, but they will keep a person nearby because they love attention. People of the Narcissus type have a manipulative and playful style of love.

What Is Benching, And Should I Let It Bother Me?

Subscriber Account active since. There are plenty of ways to meet people nowadays, through friends, at work, at clubs, or on an array of apps. But just as there are many ways to find happiness, there are many ways to be hurt, too. Never has this been more obvious than in the world of dating — particularly through the various dating apps on the market. There are a lot of lists out there on the latest dating trends and terms, so I’ve scoured the internet to find every single one you’re ever likely to come across.

“Benching” takes place when you support communication with a person on a dating site, but do not seek to take the relations to a new level and postpone a real.

Along with ghosting has come benching, a new term for the age-old concept of putting someone on the backburner. It refers to keeping someone around, giving just enough attention to make sure they stay interested in you. When I re-entered the single scene in , I thought I was going to have people dying to date me in every corner of town. I was doing well in my career, was in good shape, and am pretty damn funny if I do say so myself.

Oh, but how wrong I was. After one hookup, I found myself staring at my phone, waiting for her to text.

What is Benching? 17 Signs You’re Being Strung Along Right Now

The benchee never knows the bencher’s true intent. The bencher strings the benchee along, all while expressing interest, so the benchee becomes confused. You’re noticing that plans fall through easily, or don’t happen at all. Benching keeps people on the sidelines so that when the timing is right, a relationship can potentially be initiated by one person.

The victim may how be emotionally attached to the narcissist, but with they want to start applying attention elsewhere.

Have you been glamboozled this year? Or have you just been fleabagging yourself around town? So, you drop them a message just often enough to keep them interested, but keep your options open. Named after our favourite friendly ghost, this is the act of ghosting someone, but offering a decent explanation first. A little bit like ghosting , but you never get through the first time. Like when they have to make a commitment, or meet parents, or — god forbid — post an Instagram pic together. When someone who obviously looks better when wearing a hat only ever posts photos of them in the said item.

When someone showers their love interest with affection , gifts and over-the-top gestures in order to distract from their less-than-redeeming qualities. Obligaswiping is the act of endlessly swiping on dating apps and flirt-chatting away with no intention of actually meeting up. You know when you post a whole Instagram story for the soul purpose of that one person seeing it?

Think of it like throwing a spear into the entire ocean with the intention of catching only the one fish. Coined by the guys at OkCupid, Thunberging is when potential matches bond over their shared enthusiasm for saving the turtles and aptly names after famous climate change activist, Greta Thunberg.

Benching vs. Cushioning vs. Breadcrumbing—Dating Terms Explained

You match with someone on Tinder, exchange a few texts, and you meet up for your first date. The vibe is right — you talk about your childhood, favorite music, and even share embarrassing stories by date number three. Suddenly, the dates become less frequent and the texts go unanswered, but just when you think it’s all over, you get the classic message: ” Hey, how’s it going?

In plain speaking, benching is essentially being strung along. It happens when someone you’ve been dating (or even been in a relationship with) gradually.

Ghosting, orbiting, Draking yes, like the rapper are new digital-age relationship phrases redefining how we fall in and out of love. We long for the days of a good old-fashioned, in-person dumping, but social media and smartphones have changed the way we court. Ghosting is the act of abruptly — and seemingly without reason — stopping all communication within a romantic relationship that has built momentum.

The ghoster withdraws, ignoring the other person and ceasing all contact. Some psychologists believe ghosting is a form of emotional cruelty and deepens feelings of abandonment and desertion. Just break up with someone the right way. Haunting is only made possible by social media, as it does not involve direct communication via call or text. Instead, haunters will like an Instagram photo or connect via LinkedIn after a long period of ghosting.

They haunt the peripherals of your life, making veiled efforts to connect and remind you of their presence, but the reason for their sudden reemergence remains a mystery. Similar to haunting, submarining also occurs after a romantic interest has ghosted. Following a long bout of no contact, they will resurface — like a submarine — and act as if nothing has changed from the last point of connection preceding the ghosting. The submariner does not offer an apology or acknowledge ghosting in the first place.

Paperclipping Is The Latest Annoying Dating Trend

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‘Benching’ is when you start chatting to a person on social media, be it Tinder, Facebook, Twitter or whatever social network takes your fancy. Everything is going.

As app dating has evolved, so have those who abuse this new method of finding a partner. Not only do you need to know how to deal with rejection, but you have to know how to deal with it on social media. Would you ghost someone? Dealing with rejection is hard but becomes less so when it occurs regularly. Is it worthwhile to be rejected again and again, each rejection delivering a blow to your ego?

I accept that these days a lot more relationships are formed via computers and phones than using the older methods. You almost have no choice but to follow the herd. The other piece of advice I have for singles is not to sit home by the phone. If you glue yourself inside your own four walls, chance meetings are out of the question. So, what do you do? You do something that you enjoy.

Ghosting, Orbiting, Breadcrumbing, and Other Modern Relationship Terms Explained

The guy you were talking to on Tinder suddenly stops responding? You just got ghosted. Your kind-of boyfriend is being flaky? Or maybe you’re being breadcrumbed or cushioned—it’s hard to tell. Why are the niche terms proliferating? Relationship expert Susan Winter attributes our growing lexicon to the effect technology has on romance.

Benching someone is pretty crappy, but would you rather ghost them? Find out the pros and cons for each dating trend, and why you shouldn’t.

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Let’s work together to keep the conversation civil. Have you ever met someone who seems to be interested in you but is not willing to commit? You both share good chemistry and are compatible but whenever you meet the other person, you are totally clueless about what might be going on his or her mind. If this situation sounds familiar, you need to read on….

Benching is when someone is not exactly interested in dating you but at the same time, the person does not even want to let you go. He or she tries to keep all the options open and would come back to you when they feel like. To explain this dating trend better, think about a sports team where you are being benched. Technically, you are in the team but you are waiting for the coach or captain to bring you back in the game. You are an extra option to fall back on when the situation turns unfavourable.

Is “Benching” The New “Ghosting”?